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Wednesday, 4 July 2012

What Progress?
Laughing all the way to the Dark Ages
Know what? There aren't words grim enough to explain how much I despise the Jeremy Vine Show on Radio 2. I despise it in the way I'd despise my house being raided by burgling perverts dressed as cats. The show touts itself as a two hour discussion of topical news items but the reality is that it's ignorant chatter for the hard of thinking. If it was piped into a creche it'd make babies farts sound more informed.
Today I caught enough of the show to hear that not only was Vine discussing the Higgs Boson discovery at CERN but he was actively encouraging listeners to denounce this boggling scientific feat as a load of old cock made up by 'boffins' (his word). In fact, from what I have heard of this segment I suspect that when said show was over Vine threw on his mammoth-fur coat and nipped outside for a little light rock chucking at the yellow ball in the sky.
I'm at a loss as to how the words come out of this guy's mouth without his heart stopping at the sheer mortification of sharing a body with his brain. In fact today I heard him ask a professor of physics why he's been wasting his time at CERN when he could have been inventing a mobile phone battery that never runs out. Oh fuckety fuck and fuck again. I really did hear that didn't I? I mean, it's not the terrible result of me having had a massive stroke? 
Someone seriously needs to stop this man before he drags the intellectual standards of the nation through the core of the earth. Having gone through the joy of hearing the news from CERN this morning I am now going through the despair of realising that some people are genuinely disinterested in the one thing that separates us from three-toed sloths. But then again, that's Tunbridge Wells for you.
So burgling perverts dressed a cats? You know, on second thoughts I'd welcome them. At least they'd have some modicum of imagination and that's gotta be one step forward from Vine and his white-van witterings.


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