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Tuesday, 27 March 2012

Going Postal
How much? Hahahahahahaha...
Excuse me? 60 fucking pence for a first class stamp? Tell you what, it's not often I'm rendered speechless but this news turned me into a mouth-breather for a full hour because my jaw refused to resist the dropped position.
60 fucking pence for a stamp! The Royal Mail must be suicidal. Perhaps it's hanging onto some deluded belief that the country can't live without it and that us saps customers are still going to flock to its endless queues to stack up on extortionate square inches of perforated paper. Laughably, though, I'll bet my thriving arse that this time next year it'll be whinging about the sharp decline in customer numbers. 
Worse, is this humiliating scheme whereby people in receipt of state support have to prove their financial status before receiving stamps at the pre-hike price. And I don't mean humiliating because they have to flutter their DWP letters at the local post-mistress. I mean humiliating because they have to do this just to buy a stamp. A stamp. It's like Communist fucking Russia. As if people on benefits don't face enough isolation what with the lack of money to travel or invest in computers and email. Now they're being marginalised from the basic communication of letter-sending. Tell you what, perhaps we could introduce bread-queues by Crimbo too, you know, just to give the UK winter an authentic Siberian feel.
Mind you this is good news for the Scouts' Crimbo postal service. By January the streets will be littered with exhausted little helpers, woggles dangerously askew with exhaustion. 
And what does the Royal Mail think it's going to achieve with this shoving up of stamp prices? Well, does it matter? This is the problem with the Royal Mail monopoly. With no real competition and now the freedom to charge whatever the fuck it likes for it's shabby service I dare say the Royal Mail really doesn't give a shit. Monopoly? Someone hand it a Go to Jail card. Please.



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