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Wednesday, 14 December 2011

The Bread Line
Now, that's thick.
Whoa! I've just swallowed a sandwich so irritating I'm re-naming myself Mama Cass. 
Yesterday I bought a loaf of bread, Brace's wholemeal thick sliced, to be specific. Today I cracked it open to make a cheese n pickle sarnie, mildly excited at the prospect of a right ole doorstep thanks to the tantalising word 'thick' that was splashed all over the packet. Well, what a frigging mug I was. 
You know what I found? Slices so hilariously thin that the packet should have read Brace's wholemeal communion wafers. In fact, I dug out an old school ruler to prove the point and lo! the slices were exactly 12mm thick. 12 mm. Yes, that's a measly 1.2cms or a rough 0.5 inch. I tried to take a photo of the offending slice but when I turned it on its side it disappeared and I couldn't fucking find it. 
Call this thick bread? If so, what the fuck is thin? Transparent? Christ, I'm thinking of buying myself a packet so I can use it like cling film.
Brace's, either your bread machines have been tampered with by some shady Warburtons/ Hovis/ Greggs cabal or you are ripping the shit out of your customers. I hope it's the latter but I fear it's the former. Bring back the doorstep or I'll put you in a serious pickle on yours.



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