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The Kraken Wakes...

Thursday 29 September 2011

Winning wimmin?
And are you surprised?
I'm not banging on about anything new here, I know, but when The Kraken has sumfink on her chest she has to get rid of it.
Thankfuckfully for Sky+, adverts are rarely seen in my house. So when I do witness them I'm reminded that we still live in the Dark Ages. Take for example two that I have seen today: one for some packet veg or other and another for Microsoft Windows. 
The premise of the former is a woman being shown how to season her veg (that's not an euphemism) by some bloke, before presenting said grub to her family so that her husband can bestow shocked praise upon her.
In the latter a salesman shows a woman how to use some new fangled gadget and - fucka doodledo! - she immediately understands how to use it.
So, have you cottoned onto the source of my ire yet? Aye, that wimmin are still being used as fuckwit fodder, that if a woman can manage to cook rice or switch on a computer then any old bell-end can do it. So what are you waiting for? Go buy it! Look! She can do it, the dull ole bint. It'll be a piece of piss for those of you with brains!
Why haven't ads moved on from this patronising bollocks yet? And, tell me, do women actually get convinced by these thirty second twat-fests? Jesus, nothing makes me want to buy anything less than when the company in question insists on treating me like a retarded Barbie.
You know what my response would be to anyone criticising my spicy veg? "You can frigging well cook it yourself then, can't you?" And if you ever catch me scratching for praise for a domestic chore - from a bloke of all people - you have my permission to harpoon me in the flanks. 

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