Off With Their Wheels 2

Mayday! Mayday!

Oh, for fuck's sake. Remember my post on Nov 4 about mobility scooters twatting about on our local roads? And how one road hogging geriatric had adorned his scooter with wing mirrors? Well get this. Tonight I was driving along in the dark and came upon him and his scooter which has now been decorated with...headlights. Headlights! On a mobility fucking scooter! And he was clinging to the white line in the middle of the road as if he was landing a jumbo fucking jet at Heathrow (except that the nearest he gets to breaking the sound barrier is when irate drivers holler at him). 
Worse, I've just checked the DVLA website (I know, I know, I'm a sad bastard) and found that this guy isn't only legal but he doesn't need to have a driving license and can even use it where the limit is over 50mph. Oh Christ, oh Christ, oh Christ. I think I'm going to be consumed by burning rage before collapsing and forming a black hole so deep and terrifying that witnesses suffer exploding bladders and torn bowels. No change there then.