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Thursday, 15 September 2011

Nut Notes
Aye, it's been a tidy day
Gird yourselves, my blog-chomping munchkins. I have news, for today I was officially discharged from my local psych unit. Yush, after 18 months of depression and a year of clinging to counsellors while pawing at them for medication it has been decreed that I am fit n well enough to be released back into the wild. Feel free to arm yourselves with whatever comes to hand.
Mind you, while I have been reunited with my faculties there are situations when I retain the right to lose the slightest grip on my marbles once again. Here they are:

1. When within a two mile radius of any supermarket
2. When within a ten mile radius of Asda
3. When I see anyone driving while on a mobile phone
4. When I see anyone driving while on a mobile phone, and driving like a fat-handed twat
5. The rape of the English language via text speak or badly bandied-about apostrophies
6. Anything involving condiment-tossing TV chefs
7. Any show that appears on BBC1 or ITV1 at 9pm on a weekday. Whatever it is, it'll be some televisual social morphine that has all the challenge of a bucketful of Sudocrem.



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