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Wednesday, 6 June 2012

Home Guard
We're doomed, alright
Someone at the BBC needs to be tied to a horse and dragged, at a gallop, across the praries of modern popular culture. Why? Because said creature saw fit to broadcast, at 6.50pm on BBC2 on Bank Holiday Saturday, Dad's Army.
Dad's fucking Army. On prime time television. On the biggest bank holiday of the year. What in the frig is anyone thinking when they consider this to be popular entertainment? It was first aired in 1968, for Christ's sake, which makes it almost 45 years old. Apart from which it has been repeated so often there must be a rut snaking from the BBC's Television Centre through which said series gets piped to the unwatching masses again and again and again and...
Look, I know that there sit-coms that are as funny as having electrodes applied to your nether flaps but, Jesus, does that mean we have to resort to Dad's Army to fill the listings yet again? Is there really nothing else the BBC can come up with? Seriously, I'd rather see the test cards being reinstated than have to witness that bumbling sea of khaki trying to rustle up chuckles for the 36th time in a row.
It's no wonder the rest of the world sees Britain has a limping scrap of an empire. It's as if we've broken the flux capacitor and are stuck in 1945. Worse, we seem happy to pay our licence fee only to get Dad's Army in return. Perhaps the BBC will finally mothball the show when the last WWII veteran goes to the great howitzer in the sky. But, fuckadoodledo, if I have to wait that long I'll start a war of my bloody own. 
So can we deploy the same sort of gung-ho spirit that we employed during the war years, storm the BBC, hunt down every copy of Dad's Army and burn them Wicker Man stylee? Oh for God's sake, help me will you? Otherwise I'm afraid "We're dooooomed!"



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