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Monday, 21 May 2012

Jumping through Hoops
Seeing it in your sleep
You know what's really getting on my tit about the Olympic Games? The infuriating way in which every business in the land is forcing the event into their advertising campaigns. The Olympic bandwagon has now become so fucking enormous that its in danger of losing all four of its wheels and careening into the bloody Thames.
Yeah, yeah, there are sponsorship deals aplenty and the usual names are all up there: Visa, Coke, Panasonic, Acer, Omega...but what really grates is how the likes of Heineken UK and Trebor and fuck knows who else is managing to get its mitts on a piece of the action. God forbid that the Olympics should carry absolutely any correlation to the product being foisted on an unwitting public. And forget that the companies in question are sometimes the enemies of the very values at the heart of the Games. What in the bollocks does that matter when you can sling the logo on anything from bags of bird seed to super plus tampons in the hope that some idiot somewhere will equate their purchases with athletic success.
Problem is that by the time opening ceremony cranks into action the nation will suffer from such enormous Olympic fatigue, where it becomes so sick of having the ring logo rammed up its, well, ring, that it wouldn't care if Usain Bolt set fire to himself on the blocks.
What the fuck does that matter though? The advertising juggernaut will continues its filthy journey through the British Isles until we're doing all but ingesting Jessica Ennis' toenail clippings in the name of a bottle of bloody lager. 
Olympic stamina, strength and determination? Fuck the 100 metres. That's just what it's going to take to survive the advertising campaigns alone. And I've an idea that I'll be needing that starting gun for something other than running...



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