And Another Thing...

Brit-alert

...the Jubilee celebrations. Well OK, not the Jubilee itself, just the way the nation has been suddenly smothered with the Union Jack. Jesus, it's what the country would look like if the BNP won a general election.
I stumbled into Asda on the weekend and was greeted with such a blinding display of red, white n blue that I thought I'd had a brain haemorrhage. The clothes department looked as if it had suffered an explosion of nationalistic rage. There were dresses, t-shirts, shorts, shirts and kids' clothes all adorned with Union bloody Jacks. No doubt this is in readiness for the street parties that will slither across the land on the big day itself but to me it looked like all the essentials for a stag party to Benidorm. 
And yeah, yeah, I know this is a big year for our country. Yet just as I feel about the Olympics, by the time Her Maj has aired her bloomers to Knees Up Mother Brown in celebration, I'll be so sick to death of our bloody flag that I'll probably set fire to it. 
Perhaps there's a bright side though. Just in case there aren't already enough reasons to never vote for the BNP, this could be a little taste of what could happen if you put your cross in the wrong box. Imagine constantly living with this nationalistic fever? Being permanently surrounded by margarine tubs and ties patterned with the Union Jack? 
If this were the case I'd be the first to indulge in some decidedly un-British behaviour. And it would probably involve flagpoles. Oh, inserted in strange places. It'd be one way of marking our heritage if nothing else.