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Sunday, 4 March 2012

Of Legal Age
Oh, spare me, will you? I just read an article in a local rag about a 71 year old woman who has been fined for littering. Problem is that she is quoted throughout said piece, saying such irrational bollocks as "How dare they treat me this way. I'm an elderly woman!" and "It's disgusting that I've been fined at my age!"
What, pray, the fuck? This aged protestation has all the logic of Justin Bieber actually making a living from singing. It's incomprehensible. So does this woman mean that the injustice of this entire debacle is down to the fact that she is old and because of that it's just not fair that she should be fined for littering? Excuse me for spelling it out but that's the only way I'm able to get my sweating brain around it.
So does this mean that when you reach a certain age, by dint of the fact that you've somehow survived 65 years, you should be exempt from the law? Oh yeah, right, that's fucking genius isn't it? Tell you what, perhaps when Rose West finally reaches pensionable age she too can throw a fit over how cruel society is when it locks away the elderly. And fuck knows how Peter Sutcliffe must be dealing with the injustice of it all. He's 66, one year past his bus pass eligibility, and still roaming Broadmoor, the poor, poor bastard.
Look, no one denies that the elderly have put in the legwork and that they've seen off the enemy once or twice. Thank you, really. I love that tonight's dinner is beef stew and not sauerkraut. But the idea that this is enough to exempt the old from the laws and social mores of the nation in which they live is too insane for a decent explanation. 
No, you arses. Society just doesn't work like that, does it, eh? You don't just turn off your social and legal responsibility according to a date on the fucking calendar. Otherwise every nutjob and pervert would wait until their 65th birthday before merrily killing and kiddy fiddling their way through their twilight years, safe in the knowledge that they can't be, er, fingered for it. And does that sound even remotely sane to you? 
So, my elderly beasts, tuck away your pension books and curb the griping. Oh and put that get-out-of-jail free card back in the Monopoly box while you're at it.



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