Feel the Noize

Yeah, I'll do it.

Oh man, I love that Robert Webb (the ubiquitous, flare-nostrilled goon from Mitchell & Webb, Peep Show etc) has had a pop at Jeremy Kyle. He's today described Kyle as, "a presenter with the heart, soul and voice of a Dalek". 
Fair enough, but could Webb do what he wants Kyle to do and shut the frig up too? Because from where I'm standing Webb says yes to every fucking job he's offered which means he is reaching saturation point on the nation's TVs. If he's not blathering over TV ads he's providing endless voice-overs for a stunning array of shite TV shows. If it's got 'top 50' in the title you can bet your arse that Webb is presenting it, under the wondrous delusion that if he talks like a drainpipe he'll make it funny or interesting. The problem is that he's neither. Having a face like a collapsed swede does not a comedian make. 
Amazingly, I can withstand Kyle's barking for hours longer than I can Webb's droning. If there's a show I want to see and Webb is presenting it I go for a lengthy shit instead. Funnily enough, that just doesn't happen that often.
So think before you deride, Webb m'love. As someone who is on a mission to flood the nation's ears with bollocks I'd leave the heated debates about who has heart, soul and delightful vocals to people who don't turn up to the opening of any old fucking sound booth. Just sayin'.